The very first unicycle: by Dan Lucal.

---Ok, so a wicked long time ago, in the land of Egypt there was a hella hungry guy named Heraldo. Heraldo was dancing around one morning, being his hungry hungry self, when he realized he had like, ZERO orange juice. I don't know if you have ever been to Egypt a mad long time ago, but if you didn't drink orange juice in the morning, you were a giant loser, and like nobody would ever talk to you or buy your T-shirts. So anyway, Heraldo realized that he was in deep shit. If he didn't get some orange juice damn fast he was gonna get screwed. (Heraldo was a T-shirt sales man)
---First Heraldo ran to the corner pyramid, the pyramid clerk said that all the orange juice was already purchased, and that he couldn't order more till the next day. Wicked bummed out, Heraldo ran to the super-save pyramid down near the palace. Just as Heraldo was about to go into the super-save, he saw a girl he liked.
---"Hey Heraldo, what are you doing here at the super-save so early in the morning."
---Pretty much, if you talked to another person before you had had some orange juice, it was considered very offensive. Unless of course you were asking for some orange juice, then that was okay. So Heraldo was in a tight spot, he couldn't talk to this girl he like because he didn't want to offend her, and he didn't want to offend her by not talking to her. So Heraldo set about making some ridiculous gestures with his eyebrows, which was considered very hip in Egypt in those days, and he then ran away, also hip. When he got back to his house, he saw that it was getting later and later, and that he would soon be shunned by the whole of metro-Egypt. So he hopped into his papyrus car and drove off.
---As Heraldo drove he felt something very crocodiley about the way his car was handling, he pulled over to check it out and sure enough, a crocodile was eating one of the wheels on his car. So he opened the trunk and got out the crocodile removing kit (much like a jack) and started to remove the crocodile. You see it is very common to get a crocodile when you are driving on the Nile express in the early morning. Especially if you haven't had your orange juice. Unfortunately, the crocodile ate the entire wheel before Heraldo was able to pry him off he car. So Heraldo, with fear in his heart, built a papyrus bicycle out of two of the wheels still left on the car. Just as he had gone about a half hour with no negative crocodile interactions, a mummy came out of nowhere and demanded one of his wheels. Heraldo didn't want to offend the mummy by arguing with him, so he sadly gave up one of his wheels. Left with but one wheel and no orange juice, Heraldo felt beaten. His dream of being the most popular T-shirt sales man would never come true, just as so many T-shirts sales man before him.
---Suddenly, Heraldo had an idea! "I know, thought Heraldo, Ill just steal somebodys car!" unfortunately for Heraldo, if you hadn't had your orange juice nobody was afraid of you, even if you had a papyrus knife or crossbow. So as Heraldo walked along, kicking the last wheel of his papyrus car, feeling ruined, and tired, and thirsty, it dawned on him.
---"Our society is wicked retarded, why in Ra's name does it revolve around orange juice?"
---Then he decided that it would be faster if he picked up the wheel and carried it above his head while he walked. As he walked along, he stopped paying attention. Before he knew it, Heraldo tripped over a mummy and landed upside down doing a handstand on the axle of his wheel. And because he had absent mindedly wandered up the side of a pyramid, he began to roll down the other side. He rolled and rolled, and rolled, and rolled. After a good while, as fate would have it, he rolled into the house of a kind and loving papyrus bicycle builder. There was a cold pitcher of fresh orange juice on the kitchen table, and the bike builder invited Heraldo to have some. "Ahh thank you so very much, you have no idea what trouble I have gone through to get this!"
---"No thank you!" Said the bicycle builder. "You have truly brought your invention to the right place!"
---"Uh, what" said Heraldo, a bit confused.
---"This non-crocodile thing you rode in on!" said the bike builder (You see, if something was not a crocodile, it was pointed out. Considered very hip. Like saying yo.)
---"Oh, yeah that," said Heraldo as he peered over his tall glass of orange juice at the papyrus wheel he had just rolled in on. "It's the only wheel I had left."
---"Crocodile got your wheel?"
---"yep."
---"That'll happen"
---"yep."
---"Then a mummy?"
---"yep."
---"That'll happen... so, uh, can I buy this from you?" said the Bicycle builder
---"well, you have already been so kind, sharing you orange juice with me when I needed it most, you can just have it." Heraldo told the nice bicycle builder.
---"Well, alright, but this non-crocodile you have invented is going to be the most popular new mode of transportation! You should name it! Whats your name my friend?"
---"Uh, Heraldo."
---"Excellent! From now on, a bike with only one wheel that is not a crocodile will be called a Heraldo!"
---Heraldo thanked the Bike builder for the orange juice, and the bike builder thanked Heraldo for his invention, and Heraldo left. Many weeks later the bike builder arrived at Heraldo's T shirt stand doing a handstand on the pedals of a bike wheel.
---"Woah! That is truly turbo non-crocodile!" said Heraldo

The End

Epilog: So like, pretty much, Merchants sold the ‘Heraldo', model ‘turbo non-crocodile' all over the world, and after a few hundred years it was discovered that it was much easier to ride with your feet. And a seat was added, and a bunch of stupid people named it the "unicycle" which I personally never understood. I still call it the Heraldo.

P.s. just in case there is somebody out there who doesn't know "Ra" is the Egyptian sun god.